Pointless Celebrities – S11E31 “Radio” (16 Mar 2019)
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE Thank you very much indeed.
Hello, I’m Alexander Armstrong, and a very warm welcome
to this special radio edition of Pointless Celebrities –
the quiz where the aim of the game is to find the most
obscure answer possible. Let’s meet this evening’s
Pointless Celebrities. And couple number one… Hello, I’m Sarah-Jane Crawford. Hits Radio. Monday
to Thursday, 7-10pm. I’m Dave Berry. I do the
Breakfast Show on Absolute Radio. Couple number two… Hello, I’m Gemma Cairney,
I’m a BBC broadcaster and writer. And I’m currently working on
series for 6 Music and BBC Radio 4. I’m Harriet Scott,
one half of Magic Breakfast with the lovely Ronan Keating. Wow. Couple number three. Hi, I’m Liz Kershaw, and I’m
a disc jockey on BBC Radio 6 Music. I don’t know why
I’m putting a posh voice on, that’ll have to stop now. I’m Tony Livesey. I present the
drive time show on BBC Radio 5 Live. And finally couple number four. Hello, I’m Ken Bruce.
For the last few months, I’ve been presenting
the mid-morning show on BBC Radio 2. 50 years he’s been doing it. I’ve been his listener.
I’m Paddy O’Connell. I do Sunday mornings on Radio 4. Thank you very much, all of you,
a very warm welcome to Pointless. Lovely to have you all with us. We’ll get a chance to chat
a bit further, of course, throughout the show,
as it goes along. So that just leaves one more person
for me to introduce, Mr Long Wave himself. Just look at the length
of those arms. It’s my Pointless friend,
it’s Richard. Hiya. Hey, everybody. Good evening.
APPLAUSE Good evening to you, sir.
Good evening. What a lovely line-up. The very cream of commercial radio. We’ve got Radio 1, Radio 2,
Radio 4, Radio 5, Radio 6. Everyone except for Radio 3. They were all on Only Connect,
the Radio 3 gang – that’s where they’ve gone.
A few people have been on before, Liz has been through
to a final before so she’s the class of the field. I think Sarah-Jane and Gemma
have also been on before, been through to a head-to-head.
Now Ken. Ken Bruce. We love having Ken on the show but he never sticks around
long enough, doesn’t he? So true. Been knocked out
in Round Two twice. Paddy, please,
we need you to help him. We need to get Ken
in the head-to-head. It’d be nice, wouldn’t it?
It’d be nice. Spare me your pity, please.
Anything but pity! Ken, it’s all I’ve got. It’s all I’ve got, I’m afraid. These radio ones
are always super competitive. I suspect today
will be no different. There we are. Thank you
very much indeed, Richard. OK, well, as today’s shows
is a celebrity special, each of our celebrities
is playing for a nominated charity. And therefore we’re going to
start off with an enhanced jackpot of £2,500, there it is.
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE All right, if everyone’s ready,
let’s play Pointless. Now the only thing
you have to remember is this – it’s the pair with the highest
score at the end of each round that gets eliminated, so keep
your scores low and you’ll be fine. High, not so fine. Low, fine. Best of luck to all four pairs. Our first category
this evening is… Oh, God. Can you all decide,
in your pairs… LAUGHING: I can’t believe it,
Tony’s given up already. Can you all decide in your pairs who’s going to go first,
who’s going to go second – and, whoever’s going first,
please step up to the podium. OK, let’s find out
what the question is. Here it comes. We give 100 people
100 seconds to name as many… ..as they could. Between Australia and New Zealand
in the alphabet. Richard. Yep, so we’re look
for any country in the world that fits that criteria, please. As always, by country,
we mean a sovereign state that’s a member of the UN in its own
right. So obscure countries. Classic, old-school Pointless.
Yeah, yeah. OK. Now, Dave. Hello.
Welcome to Pointless. I can’t believe it’s
the first time we’ve had you here. It’s lovely to be here.
Goodness me. Hi, Richard. Hey, Dave. lovely to have you.
Big fan. Big fan of yours as well. Hey, thank you. Now, Dave, you are about to start,
very shortly, The Breakfast Show on Absolute. How much longer have you
got in your lead time, and what sort of things
are you doing…? I’ve got a little bit more time
left hosting my Home Time show on Absolute Radio, and I’ve
got a little bit of time off. Going to go away for a while
then come back and launch the new show. You’ve got
to rinse 7pm out of your hair. 4-7’s got to go. That’s got to go. The alarm clock’s got to get set.
That’s a good… The alarm clock? What time do you have to be up? I’m a half four-er. OK. You’ve done that before,
though, haven’t you? Yes, I’ve done before
and I don’t mind it at all. It’s fine? OK, good. Now, Dave, we are looking
for these countries between Australia and New Zealand. What are you thinking of? Already, I’ve gone blank. I’m just going to go
for the fine folk of Finland. “Finland…” That’s not bad.
..says Dave. OK, let’s see how many of our
100 people said, “Finland.” There we are, Finland, it’s right. That’s a good one, Dave.
It’s not bad. Down it goes to 21.
Fantastic, well done. Really good. Finland, 21. Really good, well done. Yeah, the fine folk of Finland.
Well played, Dave. They have… On Finnish radio,
they started… In 1989, just as a one-off, they
did a Latin language news show, the news in Latin,
and it’s still running today. Wow. Nearly 30 years later. They’re incredibly well read,
aren’t they? The Finns? In Scandinavia. They’re good at everything,
the Finns. Yeah. Ski jumping. News in Latin. Rally driving. Yes! Visiting Father Christmas quickly.
LAUGHTER Yeah, they do that.
Yeah. They’ve got it all, the Finns. I’ve never met a Finn I didn’t like. It’s the truth, they’re good people.
I’ve never met a Finn, actually. Haven’t you? I’ve met, like, three
of them but they were all lovely. That’s good. There we are. Thank
you very much indeed, Richard. Gemma, welcome back to Pointless.
Lovely to have you with us again. It’s exciting. Now, you
started off in fashion, Gemma. I mean, I was a stylist but
mainly because I liked clothes, but I wasn’t very good
at actually styling. LAUGHTER
So, what do you mean? I don’t believe you. OK, yeah, I worked in fashion. But you were styling
with lots of people… It was fun. ..but then you found your way into
radio. Now what was the link? What got you there? Well, I realised
that I just wanted to communicate rather than dress people.
I like being around dramatic people. I’ve been to drama school,
I worked in fashion and I realised that broadcast
was probably a good way to culminate those experiences
and chat. I like chatting. There we go. Now, Gemma, what would you
like to go for? These countries. OK, so I’m going to go for
Democratic Republic of the Congo. Ooh! Decent. That’s good. Decent. “Democratic Republic of Congo,”
says Gemma. Let’s see how many of our
100 people went for that. It is absolutely right. Well, 21 is what Finland is showing. DRC, as we call it. Oh, and it’s a pointless answer! Very well done indeed. A pointless
answer adds £250 to today’s jackpot. Takes the total up to £2,750. Scores you absolutely nothing and earns you our undying respect. Very well done indeed. That’s brilliant work, Gemma,
very well played. Follow that, everybody else. We call it the DRC now,
which is also a radio thing. Dynamic range compression. It’s a radio thing, see how I cleverly get radio
into all of these things. Wow. Wow. yeah, wow. How many people knew
that’s what DRC stood for? No. I think he’s making it up.
LAUGHTER How dare you! Uh-oh! Ha! Thank you very much indeed. Tony? Hello. Welcome to Pointless. Thank you very much. Great to have
you from 5 Live’s drive time show. Yes. But before that,
and for so many years, you were the editor
of the Sport? Yes. Well, tell us about that.
It’s a kind of job conversion. I don’t think anyone’s made
that kind of 180 degree… No, 360… What is it, Richard? 180. How many degrees have I gone? 180. Quite a few,
it was quite a turnaround. But, hey, the BBC’s
a broad church… It is that. ..and I now interview
prime ministers. I know. What about that?! No, but journalistically speaking,
just to go back to the Sport, that must’ve been a laugh,
mustn’t it? Yeah. We carried some
big stories at the time. What are your favourites? Well, “Donkey robs bank,”
was one of them. LAUGHTER Did you have photographic evidence?
Which was true. We had a picture. The theory on the paper,
if two people believed the picture, it went in and that was it. Yeah. LAUGHTER What was the other one? Oh, “Aliens turned our son
into a fish finger.” That was one that played well. And again, the proof was there. On a tray between the couple. LAUGHTER OK, Tony, right,
let’s have a country from you. Oh, well… We’ve gone from 21 down to zero. Yeah. I’m going to go Ivory Coast. OK. “Ivory Coast,” says Tony. Let’s see how many of our 100 people
have gone for Ivory Coast, or Cote d’Ivoire
as we now like to say. Well, 21’s the high score,
and you fly past it. Down it goes… Another pointless answer!
CHEERING Tony, well done. That adds another
£250 to today’s jackpot – Takes the total up to £3,000,
scores you nothing. Also earns you our undying respect. What passes for a lap of honour
in this place? Do you do one? That’ll do you, yeah, well done. If you go once around the podium,
that’ll be fine. Yeah, we call it Cote d’Ivoire now
but, fortunately for you, that’s also alphabetically
between Australia and New Zealand. This is good, isn’t it?
Look at all this money. Very good indeed,
two pointless answers. Yeah. Anyway, there we go. Ken, welcome. Hello. Welcome. Actually, genuinely,
how long have you been doing your lovely mid-morning show? Well, I started daily programmes
on Radio 2 in 1985, so… Goodness me.
I’ve been there ever since. But don’t tell them,
cos they haven’t really noticed. LAUGHTER
They certainly have. Now, Ken, when somebody’s
been doing a show that long, and their voice becomes that time
of day for most of the country. I mean, you know, your voice
is that mid-morning. Half nine to sort of about midday – do you have a favourite time
in that slot? Yes. Do you have a…? Yeah, midday, when I can go home.
LAUGHTER I mean, do you have moments
in your show where you think, “Oh, good-oh, it’s the…
I don’t know, PopMaster.” Well, exactly, that’s
just what I was about to say. PopMaster is at the high point
of the show, and I love it, and I still love it
after 20 years of doing it. It’s great fun, and it still… You hear lots of stories
about people who say, “I’m sorry, I’m a delivery driver, “but I don’t do drops
between 10:30 and 10:58, “so I’m on me break,” or dentists who don’t take
appointments at that time, and shops that put up
the closed sign. It does seem to have caught
the nation for the time being, almost as much as Pointless has. Oh, pish-posh. Anyway. Thank you very much indeed,
I’ll take that. Ken, what are you going to go for? Well, now, the thing is,
I’ve been, thanks to Eurovision, around a great deal of countries
I would not normally have gone to. I’ve been inspired by Gemma. Not… I’m actually a little annoyed, cos I was going to wear
the pink boots tonight. LAUGHTER But I’ve been inspired
by Gemma, and indeed by Tony, so I’m going to go for
a slightly dangerous one. Former Yugoslav
Republic of Macedonia. Ooh. Aw. But I’m not sure whether
that is the official title. Let’s see. Former Yugoslav
Republic of Macedonia. Let’s see how many of
our 100 people said it. Ah! It is right. And it’s also a pointless answer! Very well done indeed, Ken. That adds another £250
to today’s jackpot – taking the total up to £3,250,
it scores you nothing, and earns you our undying respect. There’s a lot of undying respect
being paid out here. There really is,
I think you should be careful. You know, we’ve had three lots
of undying respect already. Four, I think, might be too much
for you. Good answer, though. Yeah, very good answer.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Well, we’re halfway
through the round, let’s take a quick look
at those scores. Only two scores between the four
pairs, which is very impressive. Because those two scores are nothing – nothing,
nothing, nothing – and 21. So, well done, Ken, Tony, and Gemma. Good luck, Sarah-Jane,
in the next pass. You are the high-scorers, we’re going to have to get
some kind of low score from you. Or a higher score from
some of our other pairs. OK. I don’t know. Otherwise,
I don’t see a way out of this. Good luck with that, we’re going
to come back down the line now. Can the second players
please step up to the podium? There we are.
Paddy, lovely to have you here. What a pleasure – and, again,
I can’t believe it’s taken us this long to drag you here. I’m so chuffed to be here.
I can’t… Look at all the talent next to me. Not in the questions, but on
the radio. Thanks for having me. And now tell me, Paddy, when did
you start doing Broadcasting House? Well, I’ve done more Sundays
than the Vicar of Dibley. I started that show
about ten years ago, and there I stayed,
they couldn’t get rid of me. But, you know,
it is an extraordinary show, cos it’s basically
like the Today show… If you imagine the Today show
getting up and wearing a jumper and a pair of slippers.
It’s that, isn’t it? It’s a bit later than
The Today Programme, and it’s a bit more light-hearted.
It’s got light and shade, BUT you have to deal
with real events that have happened. Well, you’ve been on it.
Have you been on Broadcasting House? I have, yeah. Not… Interesting. Oh, oh. We’re looking for… What I love, though, Paddy,
is that you handle the good-humoured side of it
but, without even breaking stride, you can then cope
with some quite gritty things. You know, quite heavy. Isn’t that
like most people you know? Most of us are worried
about something, but we’ve still got to put
a brave face on in the morning, get up… You’ve got to get
out of bed in the morning, and that’s all I really do. Well, you make it lovely
for the rest of us, so thank you for that.
Well, thank you very much. Paddy, there you are,
you’re on nothing. Yes. If you can score 20
or less with this, even at this early stage of
the second half of the first round, you are sure of
a place in the next round. I’m going to go with Guinea-Bissau. Ooh. Guinea-Bissau. Sarah-Jane… I can’t cope! Good luck.
LAUGHTER There’s your red line, Paddy. If you can get below that red line
with Guinea-Bissau, you’re through to Round Two. It’s right. You’re through. And it’s another pointless answer! Very well done indeed
on that far podium there. That, being a pointless answer, adds
another £250 to today’s jackpot. Takes the jackpot,
the total, up to £3,500. We’re fully £1,000 ahead of
where we started moments ago. It scores you nothing,
leaves your total at nothing. Well played, Paddy. Sarah-Jane,
do you need five minutes? Do you just need to…?
No, I was just thinking… I was just thinking,
“Oh, you know, we’re going to have “an obvious one soon,” and they’re
just getting more and more obscure. We were going for America next!
LAUGHTER Yes, in Western Africa,
Guinea-Bissau. The capital is Bissau. Bissau. Thank you very
much indeed, Richard. Liz. Liz, welcome back to Pointless. Thank you. Wonderful to have you.
Thank you. Now, what I want to know,
you used to work, in some capacity, for British Telecom, didn’t you?
Yup. A sort of BT thing. Yeah, I was an executive. Not only a DJ on Radios
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, and 6… Yes. ..you been on all of
those, but you also, behind… I think television,
when TV had phone voting. Tele-voting. Tele-voting. Yeah, cos, at one time, you used to have to write
into a programme, usually with green crayon
on lined paper and, three weeks later,
you might get a response. You know, on Blue Peter, they’d say “Do you prefer this or this?
Send in your postcards now.” So I went to Television Centre – naivety of youth, I didn’t even
think they’d throw me out – and I sold them the idea. Wonderful. Now, Liz, what are you
going to go for in our countries? Well, I thought,
“If we get countries, “I’m going to go for
the Democratic Republic of Congo.” And then when that went, I thought,
“Right, I’ll think Eurovision, “so I was thinking of Macedonia,” but I’m thinking of… ..Chad. Chad. Chad. There is your red line. If you can get below that redline
with Chad, you’re into Round Two. How many of our 100 people
said, “Chad”? Oh, God. Sorry, Tony. You’re through. Yes! Ooh, 6. Very well done. 6 for Chad, very respectable. Well played, Liz, great work. Sarah-Jane, you’re really,
really relying on Harriet now. That’s…
That’s all you’ve got left. Thank you very much.
Good round, isn’t it? Indeed, what an amazing round. Yeah.
I mean, really. Even 21’s a brilliant score. And now, Harriet, welcome.
Thank you. Welcome to Pointless. Now, so there you are,
every morning, on Magic. Yes. Up against Jamie,
your erstwhile team-mate… Yeah. ..is now your arch-rival.
I mean, I can’t believe that. I know, it’s upsetting. I mean, you’re still
in touch with Jamie… Yes. ..presumably, and your rivalry,
I hope, is intense. Yes, of course. You must see each other
at events all the time, trying to pull wires
out of each other’s microphones and things like that.
LAUGHTER How is that? You know him very well, he’s a lovely man,
how could I argue with him? He is, but what’s so ironic
is, of course, he now shares his slot with
a leading girl band singer, and you now with
a leading boyband singer. Well, that, he texted me
when I got this job, he said, “What is it with
you and me about ’90s pop stars?” I know. Yeah. Extraordinary. Yeah, that’s really rude. Roman’s going to be like,
“I’m not just a ’90s pop star.” And Emma as well, is not just
a ’90s pop star. I know, I know. Listen, he was late ’80s as well,
to be fair. LAUGHTER Harriet, how are you feeling
about the pressure that’s now mounting
on you to score…? It’s not funny, is it? No. The standard is ridiculous. So… Say, “France.” LAUGHTER So, it’s a little…
Don’t say, “France.” It’s a lesser of two…
You did so well. All right. I’m going to
say it with pride. Do. I’m just going to say, “Libya.” Libya. There’s your red line, you
have to get below that red line to get through to Round Two. How many of our 100 people
said Libya? Good enough. Yes! Good enough. Down to 4. Look at that – 4.
Come on. APPLAUSE
Very well done indeed, Harriet. That takes your total up to 4. Very well played, Harriet.
You are really going to have to pull it out of the bag now,
Sarah-Jane, goodness me. I need minus figures. They often serve peanuts
with tea in Libya. That’s quite nice, that is nice.
You think? Yeah, it is. I mean, if they’re not salted,
it’d be very nice. Yeah, even salted might be
quite nice with a cup of tea. Right, yeah. Mmm.
Gosh, look at these scores. It’s ridiculous.
I know, I know, it’s absurd. I’m just try to put off the moment
I have to tell Sarah-Jane… ..where things stand
with their score amount. I…I think she might
have worked it out. Does it kind of not matter
what I do now? It really doesn’t. Let me pop that there.
LAUGHTER So, kind of pointless. Oh! Oh, Sarah-Jane, it’s lovely
having you here, by the way. Thanks for coming back. LAUGHTER At least there’s no pressure. No, exactly. Absolutely none. Hits Radio. So, yeah, Hits Radio. 7-10pm, which is great. So, before that,
I was at the BBC for years. So I’ve had like two or three years
off, gallivanting, and now I’m going to be back. Back.
Where will you broadcast from? So it’s going to be broadcasting
from Manchester. That’s exciting. Yeah. Have you done your dummy runs,
dummy shows, and things yet? Not yet, in a few weeks.
So we’re just going to sit down, have a brainstorm,
think up some fun features. I mean, before, I used to have a
feature called Hottie Of The Week, really high brow. Yeah.
We’ve got to try and top that now… Yeah, good. ..on this new show.
So, yeah, Hits Radio should be fun. Very exciting. Well, very,
very best of luck with that. And I’m sorry, you haven’t even
had a chance to give an answer yet and I’m afraid you’re
already our high-scorers. I’m sorry, I don’t know
how that happened, Dave. No, Dave, you did well, though.
I… I’m sorry. You did OK, you did OK. I didn’t
realise that everyone else here had presented
Eurovision Song Contest. LAUGHTER But this is what happens
when you’re first. It’s really hard, so you
don’t know where to gauge it. Sarah-Jane. Yes?
What would you like to go for? I’m going to go for this country, because I’ve visited
a couple of times, co-hosting World’s Strongest Man, probably a lot of people
are going to say it, actually, cos it begins with B,
so it might be the next thing. Botswana. Botswana. Botswana. There is no red line
for you, I’m afraid, as you are the high scorers, but let’s see how far down
the column we get with Botswana. It’s right. Look at that, down it goes to 4.
Very well done indeed. 25 is your total. I’m surprised not many
more people said that. Second lowest score
of the round, so well done. Yeah, it’s a great answer.
Listen, if you have to leave us, and you do, then…
LAUGHTER ..it is a great way to do it,
it’s a terrific answer, Botswana. Very well done. Here’s some
other pointless answers. We’ve seen a few already. There’s Guinea-Bissau,
we’ve already heard. Also could’ve had Cabo Verde, Dominica, Equatorial Guinea. Fiji was a pointless answer. Honduras, Lesotho, and Micronesia. Very well done if you
got any of those home. Thank you very much indeed, Richard. Well, we find ourselves
at the end of our first round, which means we have to say
goodbye to one of our pairs, and I’m sorry, Sarah-Jane and David.
I mean genuinely sorry, 25 is a ludicrously low score for you to be going
as our high scorers. It’s been lovely having you here. You’ve actually
played incredibly well. Thank you so much,
Sarah-Jane and Dave. Thank you. But, for the remaining three pairs,
it’s now time for Round Two. Ooh, and look at that,
three pairs remain. There’s not a single pair
in front of me now that didn’t find a pointless answer
in that last round – so very, very well done. Obviously, Ken and Paddy,
well done to you, double pointless on that far podium. You guys obviously mean business. But, yeah, well done.
Everyone doing very well indeed. Best of luck for this next round. Our category for Round Two
this evening is… Can you all decide, in your pairs,
who’s going to go first, who’s going to go second, and whoever’s going first,
please step up to the podium. OK, and our question concerns… That’s nice, isn’t it? Richard. Yeah, on each board,
we’re going to show you six clues to famous people. They all
have the initials AM or FM. OK, so let’s reveal
our first board of clues, six of them here. All these people
have initials AM or FM. I’ll read all of those again. There we are. Harriet. Yes. All of them AMs or FMs. Which is the most obscure
that you know? OK. It’s not the most obscure, but the most obscure
that I can get my brain on now. The former political editor
at the BBC. Andrew Marr. Andrew Marr, says Harriet. Let’s see how many of
our 100 people said Andrew Marr. Andrew Marr is right. OK, OK. Down, down. I think that’s
a very good answer, Harriet. Down it goes to 20. Well done. 20 for Andrew Marr. Well played, Harriet,
great start to the second round. He’s written all sorts
of nonfiction books as well, Andrew Marr, about history
and drawing, and poetry. Yeah. Thank you very much indeed. Er, Liz. I can’t even work
out who’s AM and FM. Have you got any MW’s
for “medium wave,” please? I’ll go Floyd Merriweather
for boxing. OK for the bottom one,
Floyd Merriweather. Let’s see how many of our 100
people said, “Floyd Merriweather.” Oh! Nope. Ooh! Oh. Sorry. Ooh, I’m afraid an incorrect
answer there, Liz. Sorry, Tony. Scoring you 100 points. Sorry, Liz, I will give the correct
answers at the end of the pass. Thank you, Richard.
Now, Ken, this board’s all yours. Do you want to fill in
all those blanks for us? Er, I can possibly do a few. Um, the German Chancellor
would be Angela Merkel, then Andy Murray. I, too, would’ve gone
for Floyd Merriweather, but obviously that’s wrong. I’m going to stick
with the Portuguese explorer one, I think it’s Ferdinand Magellan. “Ferdinand Magellan,” says Ken. Let’s see how many of our 100
people went for Ferdinand Magellan. It’s absolutely right. Now, 100 was our high score,
you passed that at the beginning. 20 is our low score,
and you pass that now. Down it goes to 15.
Very well done indeed, Ken. Good answer. All right. Well played, Ken. Ken might get
through to the head-to-head. Oh, I think he might. It’s
looking a bit like it, isn’t it? No, no, no. So long as Paddy
doesn’t mess up, I think… LAUGHTER
..he’s going to be, which he won’t. Let’s clear up this
Floyd Merriweather thing. It’s Floyd Mayweather, I’m afraid.
Oh! Floyd Mayweather is his name. That would’ve scored you 11. It is Angela Merkel, Ken,
you’re quite right. She would’ve
scored you 58 points, though. Andy Murray also
would’ve been a big scorer, would’ve scored 64.
And the actress…? Frances McDormand.
Francis McDormand, yup, would’ve scored you 13, so best answer on the board
was Floyd Mayweather. Well done if you said that.
Thank you very much indeed. We are halfway through the round,
let’s have a look at those scores. 15, look at that. Ken and Paddy, very strong indeed
on that far podium. Then up to 20, not bad there
either, Harriet and Gemma. Oh, I’m sorry, Liz. Liz and Tony… ..way ahead there on 100. Tony, I don’t know what will
happen in this next pass, but, at the very least,
if we have a low score from you, you’re in the best position
to optimise, in case somebody else trips up. Anyway, we’ll see.
Good luck with that. We’re going to come
down the line now. Will the second players
please step up to the podium? OK, let’s put another board
of six more FMs or AMs up, and here they are. We have got… I’ll read those all one last time. There we are, Paddy. You’re on 15, which means 84
or less, even this early on, gets you into the head-to-head. Well, I’m trying to learn French, so I’m going to go for
the top one, with a name. I’m going to go
for Francois Mitterrand. “Francois Mitterrand,” says Paddy.
Here is your red line. Can you get below that red line
with Mitterrand? Let’s find out. It’s right,
and you’re through, Paddy. By a long way, there we are. 24. Taking your total up to 39. Very well played, Paddy. Paddy and Ken, safely through
to that head-to-head. Yeah, 24 people
saying, “Francois…” Well, 23 people said,
“Francois Mitterrand,” one of our 100 called him
Frank Mitterrand. We accepted it, which suggests
they’re, like, mates. That’s nice, yeah. Tony. Yes. Tony, Tony, you’re our high-scorers
at the moment, on 100. Yeah. I know three for sure. I’m just trying to work out which one would give us
any chance whatsoever. So, it’s between music,
sport and literature. So I’ll go for… ..Arthur Miller.
“Arthur Miller,” says Tony. OK… For the US playwright.
For the US playwright. Arthur Miller for the US playwright. Let’s see how many
of our 100 people said that. There’s no red line for you, I’m
afraid, as you’re the high-scorers. But let’s see how far down the
column we get with Arthur Miller. 33. Not bad. Takes your total up to 133. Yeah, one of the most successful
playwrights of all time. But his first play
was a flop on Broadway, and that was called
The Man Who Had All The Luck, and it ran for four performances. Wow. Yeah. Ooh, that did flop. Thank you very much indeed. Now, Gemma, I have great news. You’re through to the next round.
Doesn’t matter what you score. However, do you want to talk us
through this board and fill in the blanks?
I can only do one, actually. Because I loved the album. Alanis Morissette,
for Jagged Little Pill. Good enough. Alanis Morissette, no red line,
you’re already through. How many people went
for Alanis Morissette? It’s right. And it takes you down to 30. Very well done indeed.
Takes your score up to 50. Sees you into the head-to-head. Well played, Gemma,
no mucking about. Let’s fill in the rest of these.
We’ll start at the bottom. The member of Queen.
Freddie Mercury. Freddie Mercury. Would’ve scored you 62 points. Do you know the Scottish footballer? It was Ally McCoist. Ally McCoist,
yeah, would’ve scored you 21. And you’ll probably know,
who plays Lynn. I do – the wonderful
Felicity Montagu. Correct.
It would’ve scored one point, so very well done if you said that.
Thanks very much indeed. So we find ourselves at the end
of the second round. Once again we have to say goodbye
to another pair, and, Tony and Liz,
this time it’s you. I’m so sorry. I’m sorry, Tony.
It’s all right. It’s been lovely having you here,
thank you so much. Come and play again,
but meantime, thank you so much, Tony and Liz. For our two remaining pairs, though,
it is now time for the head-to-head. Congratulations, Ken and Paddy,
Harriet and Gemma, you are now one step
closer to the final, and a chance to play
for our jackpot, which currently stands at £3,500. WHOOPING FROM AUDIENCE Now this is the point
where we decide who goes through to the final
to play for that jackpot, and we do it by
making you go head-to-head. But the big difference
is you are now allowed to confer before you give your answers.
You can chat! Hooray! Chat away. Pool your knowledge,
and then give your answers. First pair to win two questions
will be playing for that jackpot. Well, well, well, Ken,
I feel this is lovely. This is a great moment. The bookies were wrong. I’ve made
it through! Oh, it’s great. So, yes, double pointless we’ve had. Harriet and Gemma, we’ve had a
pointless answer from you as well. This, I think, is going
to be epically close. So very, very best of luck
to both pairs. Let’s play the head-to-head. Here is your first question,
and it concerns… LAUGHTER As you’ll know,
all sorts of US states have official desserts or pies.
I hope you’ve been revising them. We’re going to show you five…
Don’t worry – it’s not too scary. We’re going to show you five
pictures now of desserts and pies that are official desserts
and pies of US states. We’re also going to show you
alternate letters of what they are. Can you identify any
of these lovely desserts and pies? OK, thank you. Let’s reveal our five
official desserts and pies, and here they come. We have got… Come on!
LAUGHTER Yeah, OK. There we are. Thank you. Now then, Ken and Paddy,
you’re our low scorers so you get to go first.
Feel free to confer. Well, I mean, we’ve had a few, Ken’s
had a few of these in his time. Oh, you can see that. I mean he’s confident, and I’m agreeing with him. But the thing is, what’s
the one that’s difficult? There’s some we don’t know, do we? We don’t know a couple
of them I think. I have no idea what
a “sihiklnck” is. Well, let’s…
Let’s not even go there. Can maybe get the last word,
but that’s about it. Which do you think
we should go for, then? I think it’s, I think
you should go for the last two. It’s either D or E. Well, in that case,
shall we go for E? Yes, yes, go, go for it. Eat it. Key lime pie. Key lime pie, say Ken and Paddy. Now then, Harriet and Gemma, talk us through the rest
of that board. OK. Well, yeah, so for the first one
is, I think, quite obvious. Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie. B, I mean… Third word is cake. It’s a…”slm-i-hi-iln”… “Slm-i-hi-iln” cake
is not my final answer! No? No, no, please no. I can’t work out C either, something-something cream pie.
But as to what… Bison, bison cream pie? I don’t think that’s what it is. OK fine, you’re right, you’re right. We’ll go with… Pumpkin pie. Pumpkin pie, you’re going
to go A, pumpkin pie. So we have Key lime pie,
and we have pumpkin pie. Ken and Paddy went
for Key lime pie for E – let’s see how many
of our 100 said that. It’s right. 73 for key lime pie. Harriet and Gemma meanwhile
have gone for pumpkin pie, for A. Let’s see how many of our
100 people said pumpkin pie. It’s right. Ooh! 92 for pumpkin pie. Very well done, Ken and Paddy. A safe answer, but a good one. And it means after one question,
you are up 1-0. Yeah, Key lime pie is
the state pie of Florida, and pumpkin pie is Illinois, if you were interested in knowing
either of those facts. I am. OK. Let’s go through the others,
shall we? Now the best answer is B, and
Harriet, you’re absolutely right – it was the “Sl-hi-iln” cake! Amazing. Listen, right, so the last word
is cake. Cake, OK. That we know. Now.. Island… What could that…? Island
is the second word. Exactly. Island’s the second word. This is the state dessert
of Maryland. Smith. It’s got lots of chocolate fudge… Smith island cake
is the correct answer. Would’ve scored you four. C, it is a cream pie. Boston, isn’t it? Boston cream pie. I was thinking that!
State dessert of Massachusetts. 28 points for Boston cream pie.
And… ..ice cream cone. Ice cream cone. I mean, come off it.
Where’s that?! That’s Missouri. Oh, Lord. And ice cream cone
would’ve scored you 85. OK, right. OK, here comes
your second question. Harriet and Gemma,
you get to answer this first. But you have to win it
to stay in the game, so very best of luck. OK, OK. Our second question today
is all about… Yep, five very different clues, but they all have something to do
with step or stair. Thank you very much indeed. Let’s reveal our five step
or stair clues, and here they come. I’ll read all of those again. Harriet and Gemma, it’s over to you. Who’s admitting to be the Steps fan? Do you know what? I can’t believe
I don’t know that. Is it 5, 6, 7, 8? Yeah, it is. It is. OK. Well, it, well, I think it could be.
Yeah. Um… And the city with
the Spanish Steps is actually… That’s what I thought I’ll do that.
Let’s do that, let’s do that. Because people would think
it wasn’t. Let’s do that. Go on. OK, we’re going to go
for the Spanish Steps, and the city is Rome. Rome. Spanish Steps in Rome. Now then, Ken and Paddy,
talk us through that board. Can we mention all?
Go through everything. Everything, right. Well… You can mention everything. The Steptoe And Son, the step… The older Steptoe was Harold.
Was it? No, Albert.
OK, we’ll leave that one. I think it was Albert
was the elder one. Led Zeppelin, Stairway To Heaven. Steps I think, now, actually,
I’m prepared to admit this, was 5, 6, 7, 8. But shall we go for
Upstairs, Downstairs? Yeah. Because Mrs Bridges…
Why don’t we go Steps, which we know is 5, 6, 7, 8? Well, I’m feeling
quite dangerous, me. All right, you’re on… OK. I’m not 100% on this,
but I think it’s right. Upstairs, Downstairs,
the family were called Bellamy. OK, Bellamy. We’re going to go Rome,
and we’re going to go Bellamy. Harriet and Gemma
have gone for Rome. Let’s see if that’s right
for the Spanish Steps. Let’s see how many
of our 100 said it. Not bad, not bad. Not bad. 31. 31 for Rome. Whoo!
How do we feel? 31, is that OK? OK. Yeah, but we know what
we’re up against, so… You know. OK, well, let’s find out. How many of our 100 people
said Bellamy? Is it right? It is right. And it wins you the point –
there we are. 13, which means
very well done indeed. Ken and Paddy,
after only two questions, you’re straight through
to the final, 2-0. How about that?
Never been past Round Two before, suddenly you put him
in the head-to-head, look at this. It’s the best possible answer.
You went for a risk, got the best answer on the board.
Very well played. Let’s fill in the rest of these. Yes, I thought Harold originally,
and changed it, and of course it is Albert.
The other way around – so Albert is the Steptoe,
Harold is the son. Albert would’ve scored you 25. The rock band is Led Zeppelin,
would’ve scored you 46 points. And PopMaster coming in handy
there, it is 5, 6, 7, 8, I think everyone knew that.
That would’ve scored 21 points. So Bellamy –
best answer on the board. Well done if you said that at home.
Thank you very much indeed, Richard. So the pair leaving us at the end
of the head-to-head, I’m afraid, Harriet and Gemma,
it is you. It’s been lovely having you here.
Thank you so much. You scored us our first pointless
answer, Gemma, so for that… Yes, you did. ..we’re very grateful.
I’ll take that. You should. Quite right, you should.
Very, very well played. Lovely to have you on.
Please come and play again. Thank you so much, Harriet
and Gemma. OK, well done. But for Ken and Paddy, it’s now time
for our Pointless final! Congratulations, Ken and Paddy,
you fought off all the competition, and you have won our
coveted Pointless trophy. You now have a chance
to win our Pointless jackpot for your charities,
and at the end of today’s show, the jackpot is standing
at a staggering £3,500. Um, what we need from you
is a pointless answer to win that jackpot
for your charities. What would you like to see come up? Anything but sport, really. We’re not particularly good
on sport, I don’t think. No, we’re not good on sport. And if it was to come up,
I mean maybe something from the ’80s
to do with politics. Well, you know, we’ll put four
things up on the board. Right. We just have to hope
there’s something up there you think you can get along with. Let us see what today’s
selection reveals. Here we go… Musical Reds And Blues, that’s
possible, isn’t it? Yeah. Is it? TV competitions in 2017… I’m edging towards
Musical Reds And Blues. How about you?
Yes. Go for it, Ken. OK. You know what you’re doing.
Well, you seem to agree. Don’t say I know what I’m doing!
Musical Reds And Blues. Musical Reds And Blues, I think.
Very good. Now it’s great to
have you guys in the final. I hope this suits you,
this category. Certainly PopMaster
and all sorts of things, there’s stuff in one of these three
categories I hope will sort you out. We are looking for any
of the following, please. We’re looking for any UK Top 40
single up to March 2018 that begins with the word “red”. Just looking for the name
of the single, begins with the word “blue”, or this last
category might interest you, any tracks on the Beatles’
Red album or Blue album, the original releases
of those in 1973, which is sort of the whole
collection of the Beatles’ greatest
hits, published in 1973. So singles starting “Red… singles starting “Blue… or tracks on the Beatles’
Red album or Blue album. Very best of luck.
Thank you very much indeed. As always, you’ve got up to a minute
to come up with three answers. All you need to win that jackpot
for your charities is for just one of your answers to
be pointless. Are you ready? We’re ready to start talking.
You’re ready, OK. Let’s put your minute up
on the board. There it is, your time starts now. Well, Red Red Wine…
Maybe too obvious. I prefer… I’ve got one
going back to the ’50s, early ’60s, Johnny and the
Hurricanes, Red River Rock. Red River Rock? That might do something. OK, so leave that one up there. OK. Blue… Blue Moon? Blue Bayou. Blue Moon might be good,
yeah, cos it’s older. I think the older the better. Yup. The tracks on The Beatles
Red and Blue album. Well, would that be
their final album? Well, it’s… These are
time-sensitive albums, if you like. They cover other albums. So I think we need to… I’m loving your Red Rock River. Red River Rock. I said that! I’m loving your Red River Rock.
Shall we do… Let’s do red and blue,
forget Beatles. Blue Moon and Blue Bayou.
Should we do that? I love that.
I’ve never heard of it. Is there anything else? I mean… Blue… Blue Bayou. Is there a Blue Hotel? Blue Hotel.
Chris Isaak? No. No. Blue Hotel, it was a Blue Hotel.
It was… All I’m now thinking
is there’s a Green Door. That’s not there.
LAUGHTER OK. We could paint it! Time up. I need your three answers now. All right, well, we’ll go
with Red River Rock. Red River Rock, I don’t need to ask
which category that’s in. I know. Yes, thank you. Blue Bayou. Blue Bayou. Blue Bayou. And what would be our other one?
Well, Blue Moon. Blue Moon?
OK, Blue Moon. OK, there we are. Three excellent answers. Of those three, which is your
best shot at a pointless answer? His. Red River Rock. Red River Rock goes last. Least likely to be pointless? Oh, mine, Blue Moon. Blue Moon. And then Blue Bayou
goes in the middle. Yeah, he’s, he’s on fire.
No, no, no. Excellent. OK, well, let’s put those answers up on the board in that order, then,
and here they are. We have got… And I’ve just learned something –
that’s how you spell Blue Bayou. I thought it was three words…
HE CLEARS HIS THROAT ..but there you go.
LAUGHTER Now, three good answers, as I say. If one of these wins that jackpot
for you, which charities
are you playing for, Ken? My charity is Horses Helping People. It’s a therapeutic horsemanship
centre in Buckinghamshire, where my son goes. Very good indeed. Paddy? Mine is the 47Charity –
it’s for Royal Marines who landed at D-Day, and who are
still alive with needs, and ones who came after,
fighting for the country. There we are, well done. Two wonderful charities there. Let’s hope one of these answers
wins that jackpot for it. Your first answer is Blue Moon. In all three cases,
we are looking for UK Top 40 singles containing either the word “blue”
or the word “red”. Blue Moon is your first.
If Blue Moon is pointless, your charities
will be £3,500 richer. Let’s see how many of our
100 people said Blue Moon. It’s right. Blue Moon merely
has to be pointless now for you to win that jackpot
for your charities. Down goes Blue Moon through
the 30s, we’re into the 20s. 26 for Blue Moon. OK. So not a pointless answer. Let’s move quickly on
to your next answer, Blue Bayou. If Blue Bayou is pointless,
you leave here with £3,500. Let’s see how many of our people
said it – Blue Bayou. Again, it’s right. Blue Moon took us
all the way down to 26. Blue Bayou takes us down, we pass 26, down we go
into the teens, into single figures with Blue Bayou, it’s down to 7. Oh! Oh. All moving very much
in the right direction. But again, not a pointless answer, so let’s move to your third
and final answer, Red River Rock. This is the one you had
no hesitation putting last. We just have to hope
this is pointless for your charities
to win that £3,500 jackpot. How many of our 100 people
said Red River Rock? It’s right, so we’ve had
three correct answers. Your first answer, Blue Moon,
took us down to 26, your second answer, Blue Bayou,
took us down to 7, Red River Rock,
now takes us down passing 7, we’re going… Oh! ..down to 2. Brilliant. Two VERY low scores there. I mean,
2 is a fantastic score. Amazing. But I’m afraid
you didn’t manage to find that all-important pointless answer, so I’m afraid you don’t win
today’s jackpot for your charities. However, as it is
a celebrity special, we’re going to donate £500
to each celebrity pair for their respective charities.
Thank you. It has been lovely
having you on the show, and I’m so thrilled – finally, Ken,
you’ve got the Pointless trophy to add to all the other trophies
in your silver cupboard! The shelves are groaning. Ken and Paddy, brilliant.
Thank you. Thank you very much. Thank you, Ken, it was a pleasure. Yeah, that’s a really valiant
effort. A really valiant effort. I have two bits of bad news. One is that you really went
for the wrong category. The Beatles album,
there are so many pointless answers, that you… Really familiar songs. And secondly, Blue Hotel,
Chris Isaak, is a pointless answer as well. Oh! Really, really sorry, and, you know,
you gave us great answers as well, you had other great answers
in the 60 seconds. Been a terrific show all round. Let’s take a look at some
of these answers, shall we? Red, let’s start with that. Kylie had Red Blooded Woman. Alvin Stardust and the Sugababes –
not together! – both had hits with Red Dress. Red Guitar by David Sylvian,
Status Quo as well, Red Sky. You could have Red Hot,
Red Light Green Light, Red Light Special,
Red Lights and Red Sun Rising. Now blue… Some big songs here. Blue Hat For A Blue Day
is Nick Heyward. There’s Blue Hotel. Blue Jean, David Bowie, Blue Jeans, Lana Del Ray. You could have Blue Angel,
Blue Day, Blue Eyes, Blue Girl, Blue Guitar,
Blue Orchid, Blue Peter. Blue Peter, which was
the theme to Blue Peter, was a pointless answer as well. Now, these Beatles albums. I mean, look, let’s just take
a look at them, shall we? Very well done at home
if you said any of these. I’m going to go through
a lot more as well… A Day In The Life,
All My Loving, And I Love Her, Come Together, Don’t Let Me Down,
Drive My Car, Girl, Hello Goodbye, Here Comes The Sun,
In My Life, Magical Mystery Tour, Michelle, Ob La Di Ob La Da,
Octopus’s Garden, Revolutions, Strawberry Fields Forever,
The Fool On The Hill, We Can Work It Out,
and While My Guitar Gently Weeps were ALL pointless answers
in that category. Very well done
if you got one of those at home. Oh, dear. The Blue Hotel
is the hardest sting. That’s the difficult one. I’m never going to stay in the
Blue Hotel ever again in my life! No, you shouldn’t.
No, don’t, I won’t. No. Thank you so much Richard,
thank you so much Ken and Paddy, we’ve loved having you here.
Thank you. I’m so sorry you didn’t win our
jackpot, but you get to take home that lovely Pointless trophy.
That’s great. So well done. Very well done, Ken and Paddy!
Thank you very much. Join us next time, please, when we’ll be putting more obscure
knowledge to the test on Pointless Celebrities. Meanwhile, it’s goodbye
from Richard… Goodbye. ..and it’s goodbye from me. Goodbye. APPLAUSE